CSI Miami: Jaded
by CelticLady00
Summary: With Horatio Caine on medical leave, Rick Stetler is put in charge of the crime lab – a move that Horatio doesn't understand nor like but has no control over. Feeling depressed, Horatio must deal with his darkest demons only to find he is not alone.
1. Chapter 1

**Jaded  
By Celtic Lady**

**Genre: **Hurt/Comfort, Angst  
**Pairing(s): **None  
**Characters: **General cast plus an other character named Jade Reno  
**Rating: **T (age 13+)

**Summary: **With Horatio Caine on medical leave, Rick Stetler is put in charge of the crime lab – a move that Horatio doesn't understand nor like but has no control over. Feeling depressed, Horatio must deal with his darkest demons.

**Author's Notes: **This story is set after the end of Season 5 thus Ryan Wolfe is not working in the lab. This is the third of a three story arc. The first story being "Eye On Crime" and the second being "The Rape of Horatio Caine" both which can be found on this site.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters so please don't sue. If the real owners want to use anything from my story (yeah, wishful thinking), go ahead, you can have it for free. :-)

This story has made use of the following characters which have appeared in previous CSI: Miami episodes.

Michael B. Silver ... FBI Agent Peter Elliott  
Christina Chang ... State Attorney Rebecca Nevins  
Nick Searcy ... IAB Jack Seeger (Season 1, Episode 18: Dispo Day)  
Holt McCallany ... Detective John Hagen  
William Allen Young ... Chief Judge Joseph Ratner  
Mark Rolston ... FBI Agent Glen Cole

* * *

Horatio was dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt as he sat on the bed. He couldn't figure out what was taking so long – the doctor said he'd be discharged hours ago yet here he was still waiting.

His surprise showed when Eric and Calleigh walked into the room.

"We thought you might want a lift home." Calleigh smiled.

Horatio looked much better than when he was brought in six days earlier. She could still see visible bruises but his smile was back – that was a good sign.

Horatio raised an eyebrow to Calleigh's offer. "Well, thank you. But unfortunately, I'm still waiting for the doctor to release me."

"Well, let's get this show on the road. I'll go track down your doctor and light a fire under him." A broad grin came over Delko's face and he walked out the door leaving Horatio and Calleigh alone.

Horatio took the opportunity to inquire about the case. "Anything new you can share with me on our serial killer?"

Calleigh's frustration was evident, even through her Louisiana drawl, "Not that we know of, but Stetler is keeping his cards close to his vest. None of us are included in his little loop."

"What about Jade. Has she made it into the loop?"

Calleigh gave Horatio a puzzled look, "Why do you ask?"

Horatio had that guilty look on his face like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Oh, no reason." The grin on his face told Calleigh otherwise.

"Okay Horatio, you know I'm not buying that. Now out with it!"

Horatio couldn't tell her everything but he did remember his agreement with Jade. "Let's just help her get close to Stetler."

Calleigh thought she understood as she asked playfully. "Is Jade our little spy?" She returned Horatio's grin, "Consider it done!"

Eric returned with a nurse in tow and a wheelchair. "All set?" Eric wheeled the chair up to the bed where Horatio was seated.

Horatio rose very slowly proving that he was still in a lot of pain and discomfort. Something that did not go unnoticed by Eric and Calleigh.

Eric did his best to stay upbeat as he pushed Horatio down the hospital corridor to the elevator. When they emerged on the main floor, it became evident that a group of reporters had gathered at the entrance.

Angered, Eric commented, "How did they know – I told the doctor to not tell anyone!" Eric was pissed that the media had been alerted to Horatio's release from the hospital. That meant they probably knew the name of the victim as well, something the lab was working diligently to keep quiet.

"Eric, why don't you get the car and meet us down by the Emergency Room. We'll wait for you there," Calleigh offered.

"Give me a few minutes to loose the mob okay." Eric then exited into the crowd.

--OO--

Jade had been snooping through the department's files for months now and finding nothing of interest to her. But one night, her luck had changed when she discovered the administrator's password to the network. Making use of it, she immediately created several fake login names, with administrator right's, so she could browse the network files undeterred. Jade had majored in computer science in college when surveillance technology hadn't yet existed, but once it did, it really caught her attention. It sounded much more exciting than sitting at a desk all day so she attended night school for her second degree. She was so glad she had both experiences under her belt now.

Jade had also considered it poetic justice when she set up the fake login names to be similar to existing people like Rick Stetler. It was unlikely that anyone would question Richard Stetler since he was IAB.

Although in her search, she saw several questionable files of personal nature on each person's network directory, it wasn't until she was browsing through the archived files that she hit the jackpot. In looking through the files removed from Tim Speedle's computer, after his death, she discovered that he had been doing some investigation into the IAB department himself. She couldn't believe her luck – someone had already gathered some important information which had been forgotten at his death.

Jade was quick to download all the files to her flash drive for reviewing later. Now, she had to get back to work before anyone noticed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Jaded - Chapter 2  
****By Celtic Lady**

Calleigh's plan had worked and they were able to successfully exit the hospital unnoticed by the media waiting outside. Arriving at Horatio's home, Eric pulled up into his driveway and stopped the car.

"Here you are H. Safe and sound." Eric caught himself too late. Horatio's home had not really been as safe for him since that is where the killer had targeted the Lieutenant. He glanced at Horatio, who didn't seem to pick up on the mistake. He was busy trying to get out of the car so Eric ran up to help.

"Here, hold onto me." He offered his hands to Horatio who gladly accepted.

Once inside, Eric handed over Horatio's house keys to him as Calleigh offered, "Now if you need anything, you just let us know."

"I think I'm just going to take it easy for awhile. But thanks." Horatio's kitchen and dining area opened up into his living room which were all close to the front door.

As Horatio looked around, he commented, "I see you cleaned my house!" He looked down at the rug in the living room, "You even did the rug!" He softly chuckled.

Calleigh was happy that he noticed. "Well, I didn't do it alone. Several of us came in and straightened the place up for you. I bet it was Jade who cleaned the rug."

Eric was curious, "Why Jade?"

"Oh, she was just making fun about carbon dating the rug by the dirt in it. So I bet she came back and cleaned it," Calleigh explained.

"Hmmm. I guess give everyone my thanks." He walked into the kitchen, "Can I offer anyone a drink . . . beer, soda, water." He opened his frig hoping that the old leftovers hadn't grown too much while he was gone. Instead, he found it full of fresh vegetables, juice, and all sorts of delectable delights. "Wow!"

Eric was pleased, "We took up a collection and bought you some groceries."

"That wasn't necessary but thank you." Horatio was moved by their generosity. He looked away as tears formed in his eyes. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting this."

"That is quite alright." Calleigh offered him a Kleenex and then gave him a big hug. As he was wiping the tears from his eyes, she continued, "Just hurry up and get better and come back to work. We miss you."

"Okay. I'll do that. Thank you."

"Well, we better get going. We're still on the clock." Eric gave Horatio a gentle squeeze across the shoulders. "I'll check on you again later okay."

"Yeah, do that Eric."

Horatio followed them to the door and waved goodbye as they walked down the sidewalk. Closing the door behind him, he looked around his house again. It was spotless. The team had done a lot of work to make him feel better in his home. He still couldn't believe they had done this for him. He walked over to his kitchen counter and set down the house keys when he noticed the crack in the counter had been repaired. He shook his head as he smiled – Jade.

Although it probably wasn't recommended, Horatio took a beer from the frig and sat down on the couch. It felt good to be home.

--OO--

Rick Stetler arrived at his boss' office per his request. He figured Robert Bell wanted an update on the Horatio Caine rape case. Rick had been keeping up on everything making sure nothing went wrong.

Bell had held his position of IAB Director for years. He was considered old school and although his demeanor was somewhat grouchy and intimidating, he was well respected in his job.

"Rick, have a seat. I want to talk to you about something." Bell leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his overstuffed stomach.

"I've been talking to some people and we all agreed that you should take over for Horatio Caine while he recuperates." He coughed and cleared his throat before continuing. "Now I want you to know that I've pulled in a couple of markers to make this opportunity available to you. So I hope you won't let me down."

He took a moment to look through a folder on Horatio Caine. "I see where you've investigated Caine before for improprieties but couldn't make it stick. Now this isn't an investigation against Caine. But . . . if you should find anything blatantly obvious, I want you to run it by me before acting on it. We have to be careful how we proceed since you are stepping in for him. Do you understand?"

Stetler couldn't believe his ears. He was being given Horatio Caine's job. "Yes sir, I believe I understand. Everything goes through you."

"Good."

He left Bell's office with a smug look on his face. Stetler couldn't wait to start going through Horatio's files. He immediately walked to Horatio's office and sat down. He looked around and tried to open a drawer in the desk but it was locked - he'd have to get the keys from Horatio. Hopefully, that wouldn't be difficult. He decided to drive over to Horatio's house and let him know the good news. But first, he needed to inform the others in the office so he compiled an email to everyone letting them know he was in charge.

A short while later, he pulled into Horatio's driveway and rang the doorbell. It wasn't long until Horatio answered the door.

"Rick. What a surprise." Actually, he was shocked as this was the last person he wanted or expected to see.

"Hello Horatio. May I come in?"

Horatio was reluctant but eventually opened the door wider and invited him in. "What's up."

"Well, I've just been given your job, temporarily of course, until you return." Rick's smile was annoying Horatio but there wasn't much he could do.

"And I need your desk keys," he continued.

Horatio wasn't about to give him full access to his office as he declined, "Nothing like a conflict of interest is there Rick. The answer is unequivocally NO."

Rick had hoped it would be easy but he quickly realized that was not the case. "Horatio, if I'm going to do your job, I need access to your files."

Horatio reminded him, "Don't get too comfortable, because I'll be back."

"I'm sure you will Horatio. But until you do, I'm in charge."

Rick figured he'd find another way as he thanked him for his time and left.


	3. Chapter 3

**Jaded - Chapter 3  
By Celtic Lady**

That evening, Jade looked over the documents she had downloaded from the network. Tim Speedle was investigating how a piece of evidence on one of his cases had somehow been compromised. His investigation showed this was not an isolated occurrence as other evidence had also been altered in various ways as well during the time he worked there. His notes indicated that the security camera was suspiciously covered by a box at certain times and he was certain that is when the damage occurred.

Although his notes revealed that he was going to check the security card access at those times, no mention was made of what he found. Jade thought this curious so she made a note of the times and dates to take a look for herself. She had already set up a second hidden camera of the evidence locker, which Peter had arranged to get a warrant for, so if anything happened again, she'd be ready. Jade also decided to take a look into Speedle's death. She knew it was ruled an accident but it wouldn't hurt to glance over the notes.

With her plans made, Jade curled up on her couch, and checked to see what kind of travel her marks had been doing. She had decided to focus on several people of interest to her and had put a GPS tracker under their bumper since she didn't have the resources available to follow each person personally. This was an easy compromise to see where to put up a surveillance camera if she needed one. She pulled up her GPS tracker on her laptop and started looking at the results.

Jade quickly realized that IAB Jack Seeger was visiting a secluded park fairly regularly. She definitely wanted to know why.

As she was sitting there checking her emails, her phone rang. "Hello."

It was Peter Elliott. "Hey Peter. I was just thinking about you. Can I get a warrant to bug Horatio Caine's office?" She conveniently omitted that the bug was already in place.

"Yes Peter, I know Horatio is on sick leave but Rick Stetler is taking over the crime lab and I want to know what he's up to. He's supposedly moving into Horatio's office."

She paused to listen then explained, "Do we really have to tell Reynolds? If he finds out I'm not investigating Caine, he'll be really pissed and might even pull me off the case."

Peter commented that Jade's former boss, Frank Reynolds, wasn't aware that Horatio Caine was injured and on sick leave so he could just forget to mention that fact.

"Oh. Okay."

"So what is the reason for the warrant?" Peter inquired.

"Missing or switched evidence. Plus the CSI person checking into it turned up dead. And you won't tell Reynolds that Caine won't be in the office right?"

Peter agreed. "So it sounds like you're starting to find something. What can you tell me?"

"I won't know till tomorrow when I check some access times but it looks like someone switched some evidence in a case causing it to be thrown out of court. I'm thinking someone was paid some good money to make that happen. I'll call you tomorrow when I find out more. Chow."

Later that night, Jade installed a solar powered web cam in the park to narrow down where she needed to put her surveillance camera. She could hardly wait for Jack Seeger to return.


	4. Chapter 4

**Jaded - Chapter 4  
By Celtic Lady**

Shortly before Noon, Horatio received an official visit from State Attorney Rebecca Nevins and Sergeant Rick Stetler.

"Horatio, we need to go over your case against the serial killer Tommy Lee Butler," Nevins explained.

"So I see you found out his name." Horatio was having a hard time looking at Nevins and Stetler when he spoke. He was aware of it and was trying very hard not to let it show.

Stetler spoke, "We have bad news Horatio and I don't know how else to tell you this but the videotape of your assault has been damaged. We can't use it."

Nevins joined in, "You're going to have to testify on the stand about what he did to you."

Horatio felt all the energy drain from his body as he looked into their faces. This had to be a joke, they had assured him that the tape would speak for itself and he wouldn't have to take the stand. Now they were changing their story.

"What do you mean damaged? How did this happen Rick." Horatio's anger was starting to rise. "You were in charge of the evidence."

"It wasn't his fault. A shelf in the evidence locker collapsed from weight and the DVD was damaged," explained Nevins. "Now we have to make this case work without it. We need your help Horatio."

Horatio became agitated as he thought over what they were wanting him to do. He stood up and paced into the kitchen, "I don't think I can testify."

Stetler whispered to Nevins, "Why don't you give me a minute alone. I'll talk to him." She excused herself and went to the bathroom.

Joining Horatio in the kitchen, Stetler tried to console him, "We'll work with you. Don't worry. We can't let this guy get away."

Horatio wasn't buying Rick's sincerity. This only added to his gut feeling that Rick had something to do with the incident.

"Rick, you don't know what you are asking." Horatio turned away in disgust. "I can't help you."

After Rebecca Nevins returned, Horatio announced, "I think I need both of you to leave now. I need to think this over."

Nevins looked over to Stetler for an indication of how it went. He nodded no so she knew it didn't go well. "Are you going to let this guy get away with raping you Horatio? I didn't think you'd fall apart under pressure like this."

Horatio knew what she was doing, "It won't work counselor, you won't goad me into doing this. Now leave me alone."

After they were gone, Horatio couldn't hold it in any longer as he cried. After all that he'd been through, how could they do this to him. He knew Stetler had most probably damaged the DVD on purpose. How was he going to get through this. Everyone he worked with would be in the court room and he couldn't bring himself to talk to them about what happened to him let alone a whole room full of strangers. Upset, he decided to take one of the pills the doctor had given him. Hopefully, with a little rest, it would help him think clearer so he could decide what to do next.

After taking the pill, he laid down for awhile as his many thoughts raced through his head. He felt so defeated and vulnerable. After awhile, he dozed off to sleep but was plagued by horrific nightmares. He kept reliving the rape over and over again only this time everyone in the lab was watching and laughing at the display. Some were eating popcorn like they were watching a sporting event, others were taking photographs, Stetler seemed to be really enjoying himself as he watched and cheered the rapist on. Then Horatio turned and faced the killer but it wasn't Butler this time, it was Rebecca Nevins dressed in black leather as she slapped a whip against her leg. The look on her face told him she was going to make him submit to her way. He screamed, "No!" as he bolted up in bed covered in sweat.

He looked around disoriented. His head throbbed terribly as he curled up in a fetal position and sobbed. He needed it to stop. This was too much for anyone to endure and even he was human. He was startled by a sound at the window. Was someone trying to get in? The killer – was he trying to get in? His gun, he needed his gun. Where was it. He couldn't remember. He had to find his gun so he went frantically searching throughout the house until he found it. Yes, now he'd be safe. No one could hurt him as long as he had his gun. He crawled up onto the couch as he felt the walls encroaching in on him. He needed them to stop. He shot several times at each wall while screaming, "Go away!"

He finally collapsed in exhaustion as he sobbed hysterically. He needed help. All he could think to do was call Jade. She'd help him. He had to call Jade. He frantically dialed her number while he shook uncontrollably.

"Jade." His sobs were disheartening over the phone. "Jade . . . help me."

"Horatio. Hold on Horatio, I'm on the way okay. I'm on the way." She rushed down the hallway and grabbed Calleigh, "Horatio is in trouble."

With Calleigh driving, Jade stayed on the phone with Horatio trying to calm him. "Hold on Horatio. Hold on. We're almost there."

When they arrived, both ran into Horatio's house where they found him on the couch clutching his weapon in fear. His face was wet with tears.

"Gun!" Calleigh instinctively pulled her own from it's holster.

Without hesitation, Jade calmly ran up to him and gently pulled the gun from his hand and placed it on the coffee table behind her, as she scooped him up in her arms. "It's okay Horatio. It's okay." She looked at his face and brushed his hair from his eyes. He was sweating and hot to the touch.

"The walls are moving! The walls are moving!" He held tightly onto Jade who had to pry the phone receiver from his hand.

Calleigh called for an ambulance while Jade cradled Horatio in her arms rocking him back and forth while whispering gently in his ears, "It's okay. Everything will be okay. Don't worry."

Calleigh and Jade looked at each other bewildered by Horatio's strange and erratic behavior.

"Horatio, what happened?" Calleigh had to wipe away her tears before she could continue, "What happened Horatio."

Through his tears he managed to ramble incoherently, "The tape is gone. Everyone was laughing. The walls were moving and the tape was gone. They were all watching me and they were laughing. They were hurting me."

"What tape Horatio? What is gone?" Calleigh pleaded with him. "Who hurt you?"

Horatio looked up at Calleigh, "You were laughing at me. You were laughing." He buried his head in Jade's arms.

"No Horatio, she wasn't laughing. See, look at Calleigh, she was crying." Horatio looked up again to see the tears running down Calleigh's face. He reached out a hand and touched her tears to make sure they were real.

"Stetler said I had to testify – the tape is gone. I can't testify, everyone was laughing. I can't . . . do that!" Sobs again choked him hindering his speech. "I can't."

It seemed like an eternity before the ambulance finally arrived. Horatio wouldn't let go of Jade so she had to go with him to the hospital but before they left, she grabbed Calleigh's arm, "Check around and see what happened."

After Horatio was taken away in the ambulance, Stetler arrived. "I heard Horatio had a nervous breakdown. That's too bad."

Calleigh was defensive when she replied, "Don't count him out too fast."

She looked Stetler straight in the eye as she drilled him. "What happened to the tape Rick?"

"I see Horatio told you. Well before you judge, know this, the tape was damaged when an overloaded shelf collapsed on it in the evidence locker. I had nothing to do with it."

By the way Stetler was flexing his jaw, Calleigh knew she was pushing the right buttons.

"You better hope not Rick. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a crime scene to investigate."

She turned to leave when Rick stressed, "I'm in charge and the night crew will be doing this scene. Not you Calleigh."

"And I'll be watching every move they make Rick. Mark my word." Calleigh went to her car and got a camera. She wasn't going to be deterred this time.

Horatio could see the ceiling lights flashing by as he was being rushed down the hallway of the hospital. Jade was close by, he could hear her telling him everything would be okay but she sounded distorted.

The emergency room personnel recognized Horatio and knew what he had been through. They immediately began doing their job and assessing the situation.

"What happened?" the nurse inquired.

"He went kind of crazy. Like he was hallucinating things. He kept saying the walls were moving." Jade explained as she watched him helplessly on the gurney, "He's been fine up to now. This came on so suddenly."

The emergency room personnel began removing his clothing which sent him into another hysterical outburst. Jade ran up to him and held him. She kept brushing his hair and telling him he'd be okay. "I'm not leaving. He needs me."

Upon seeing the calming effect she had on their patient, the doctors agreed. "We need to get him into a hospital gown."

"I'll do it. I can do it." Jade took the gown from the nurse and turned to Horatio. "I'm going to help you put this on okay."


	5. Chapter 5

**CSI Miami - Jaded - Chapter 5 of 15 (and 2 alternate endings)  
By Celtic Lady**

Jack Seeger proceeded down the sidewalk to a wooden bench located by the fountain in the park. He looked around then took a seat and waited. He didn't have to wait long as Chief Judge Joseph Ratner arrived and took a seat next to him.

"Is it done?"

Seeger kept his eyes forward as he replied, "Yep. It's done. Got the money?"

Ratner handed him an envelope. Seeger tucked it in his jacket and left without saying a word. Ratner followed shortly thereafter.

Earlier that morning, at the lab, things were not going so smooth. Delko and Natalia were helping to salvage any evidence they could from the collapsed shelving unit.

"Eric, look at this." Natalia pointed to where the shelf was attached. "There are two clips missing."

"That's why the shelf collapsed. The supports were inadequate." Eric took out his dusting powder and dusted for prints. "Nothing."

"Do you think it was sabotage?" Natalia looked startled.

Eric wasn't sure, "What else could it be. These shelves are heavy duty. They're designed to hold this kind of weight."

"But only if they were put together right. For all we know, this could have been shoddy workmanship. Nothing more." Natalia argued.

Eric countered, "Well, that is what we need to find out."

"So what did we loose." She looked around the area. The upper shelf had done a pancake effect crashing down on the shelf below and caused it to also collapse onto the shelf below it.

"All we can do is take it off layer by layer and see what we've got – just like a crime scene." Eric grabbed a box and they began their recovery effort.

Before long, they had everything sorted out and began examining each piece of evidence to see what was damaged.

"Oh, no."

Eric looked to see what Natalia was talking about. She was holding the DVD tape of Horatio's rape and it was melted.

Delko quickly searched for another piece of evidence. "Great." It was also damaged. "Dimethyl formaldehyde. It was used in another case to poison someone. Some rich teenager got a girl pregnant and wanted her un-pregnant."

"So he poisoned her with fingernail polish remover?" Natalia questioned.

"Well, he mixed up a nice little cocktail for her at a party and everyone just thought she was drunk. He killed her in a room full of people and none of them even realized what he had done." Delko pointed to the DVD, "It also melts plastic."

"How is this going to affect Horatio's case? It won't get thrown out will it?" Natalia looked at Delko.

"We can tie him to other murders, so no, this guy isn't getting off," he assured her. "I better let Rick Stetler know the bad news."

"Poor Horatio." Natalia sadly shook her head. "How much more tragedy can that poor man handle."

Eric agreed.

--OO--

Jade had her hands full with Horatio. The doctors were finally able to determine that Horatio had ingested a different medication which dramatically increased his anxiety and caused a disoriented, delirious side effect. Jade immediately told Calleigh to be on the alert for any medications in his home.

Not having an antidote for the medication, the doctors gave Horatio a mild sedative to help him relax while they kept him for observation until the effects could subside. They wanted to make sure this was not a suicide attempt even though Jade had stressed that he was Catholic and wouldn't consider suicide as a way out.

As he went through several tear filled hours, Jade never left his side. She was deeply worried about leaving him alone. He rarely slept during the time but would stray from one subject to another rambling about whatever came to mind – some of it incoherent while other parts revealed the hidden secrets of his soul. Jade finally laid on the bed beside him and let him clutch her tightly in his strong arms. He seemed fearful that she would leave him and snuggled up close like a young child in bed with it's mother on a thunderous, rainy night. Jade realized she had never seen him show true fear before until now.

Jade gently caressed his head and kept telling him it would all be okay – it was all she could think to do. Through his confused remarks, she was able to piece together several parts of his life. His father had physically abused him as a child and he had witnessed his mother's beatings many times as he and his brother hid in the closet afraid. His mother was a religious woman who believed in the teachings of the church and therefore wouldn't divorce him no matter how bad it got.

As a teenager, his anger showed it's face and both he and his brother were routinely in trouble with the law. He would sometimes stay away from home for days on end which worried his mother terribly. By this time, he started fighting back when he father would take a punch at him. On more than one occasion, he was taken to juvenile hall for assault. It was there that he learned, the hard way, that only the strong survive and you have to keep getting back up no matter what.

Jade also learned that his father had been a policeman and when an altercation at home would bring the officers to their house, the police would take his father away for awhile only to let him cool off. They never prosecuted him. In fact, it had been his father's partner who helped straighten Horatio out and get him into the Police Academy followed by his brother shortly thereafter. Horatio did well in the structured environment and excelled in police work. But that is also where he witnessed humanity's dark side which ultimately took it's toll on his first marriage and his partner at work.

It was at this point that Horatio made a startling confession. He had killed his own father. But it was not as a son, but as a police officer that he took his father's life. The neighbors had called in the disturbance of his father beating his mother again. They had said this was a bad one. Although warned not to intervene and let the other officers take care of it, Horatio didn't listen and rushed to their apartment only to find his father towering over his bludgeoned mother ready to take another punch. Horatio had warned him that he would shoot if he tried. His father just laughed at him, telling him he didn't have the guts – he never had the guts to be a man. As his father reared his arm back to strike her again, Horatio took his shot. But it was too late. His mother never regained consciousness and died days later in the hospital.

Jade was surprised to hear that he had been charged with his father's murder and that it had not made it to trial yet. Horatio had told her of his fears, his loneliness, and even of his dreams. His entire family were now dead. He was in love with his brother's widow, Yelina, but she felt he carried too much baggage with him. She wasn't interested in marrying another Caine. He had married Eric Delko's sister, Marisol, when he found out she was dying from cancer. She didn't have the heart to tell her brother the cancer had returned - it was their little secret. That is why Horatio married her after such a brief courtship. He had really wanted to make her last days happy when a bullet suddenly took her life. He mentioned that her love for him was real as was his love for her. He strongly wished for children of his own but feared that opportunity would never come.

Most of his relationships ended badly in one way or another. Either they used him or were hurt because of him. He found himself lonely most of the time, fearful to take another chance. He wanted so much to be part of a family again. He also feared he might someday become his father, after all, abused children many times abuse their own. That was why he preferred strong women who would never let him get away with that kind of behavior. They would, in a way, save him from himself.

And then he said some words that tore at Jade's heart, he hoped that someday his efforts might make a difference. That they might help at least one person, save one child, or inspire another person to take up the fight after he was gone.

Jade told him she understood where he was coming from. She had been to that same dark place many times and expected to go there yet again.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTES: My goal in writing these stories has always been to expand on the background of Horatio Caine or to clarify tidbits that I thought should have been explored further in the series episodes. The marriage of Marisol Delko and Horatio Caine for instance and their "brief" courtship which didn't make sense to me at the time. I also** **remember innuendos dropped throughout the series that alluded to Caine's father and of course the subpoena served on Horatio in New York but then nothing more was ever said about them. It seemed to me they were just asking for someone to fill in the blank for them, so I have. **

**I have decided to write a fourth story on this series which I've titled "Trials and Tribulations" to cover the court trial of the serial killer, Tommy Lee Butler and how he plans to discredit Horatio Caine. Did I ever mention that I like to torment characters? :-)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Jaded - Chapter 6  
By Celtic Lady**

As the afternoon drew on, the doctors finally concluded that Horatio was not suicidal and released him to Jade's care. But, having experience with depression herself, she was still somewhat concerned about his mental state and really didn't want to leave him alone. She also feared for his safety.

As they waited for the taxi, Jade decided to take a chance, "Horatio, would you like to stay at my place tonight? I'll sleep on the couch."

Horatio was taken by surprise by her offer and wasn't sure how to respond. A slight blush came to his face as he smiled, "Are you worried about me?"

Jade was serious and it showed in her face when she responded, "Yeah, I am." She avoided looking at him as she continued. "You're in a vulnerable state and I really don't think you should be alone."

Horatio's smile dimmed as he realized she was dead serious. "I'm not going to hurt myself. This was not deliberate. I didn't take anything to hurt myself."

"I know. I believe you." Jade turned and looked him in the eye, "But someone wants to and today they succeeded. Calleigh called me earlier and told me that the medicine the doctor gave you was tampered with. They tested it in the lab."

Horatio didn't know this.

"My case is also turning more serious. I'm talking payoffs, bribes and tampering with evidence. And you don't know it yet, but one of your CSI's was murdered for investigating it."

Now Jade had his attention. "What do you mean murdered. Who?"

"Tim Speedle."

"Jade, I was there when that happened. His gun jammed."

Jade wasn't going to let him go home tonight. "I'll make you a deal. Spend the night at my place and I'll tell you everything."

This sounded like an offer Horatio couldn't refuse. He was curious about her case and hoped she would share some information with him and let him in on her findings. He had no choice but to accept her offer.

The taxi arrived and took them to the crime lab where Jade picked up her car. They then drove to Horatio's house where he packed an overnight bag with a weeks worth of clothes as Jade suggested. It was dark before they neared Jade's apartment so she stopped and picked up some burgers for dinner.

As she entered her apartment, she pointed to the single bedroom, "You can sleep in there."

Jade was tired, it had been a long day and her emotional rollercoaster ride with Horatio had taken its toll. Now that she heard his confessions, she believed that Horatio's demeanor towards her might change. He was vulnerable and she listened to his darkest secrets. Secrets he had never told anyone before - but now she knew them and he would have to decide if he could trust her or not. She knew, from her own experience, that she would distance herself from people who discovered her secrets. She fully expected Horatio to do the same. The friendship she had developed might be coming to an end and the thought made her very sad.

She put the burgers on the table and invited Horatio to eat before they discussed the case. He hadn't eaten much that day so he didn't argue. Jade was exceptionally quiet at the table when her phone rang.

She glanced at the caller ID, it was Peter Elliott. "Yeah."

She motioned for Horatio to stay quiet as she put the phone on speaker and finished eating.

"Hey Jade, just checking in with you – what did you find out today."

"Oh, all sorts of things. Some evidence was damaged today in the evidence locker. Horatio was drugged and freaked out. And, I haven't had time yet to check the tapes. How is everything with you?"

Peter laughed, "Oh, I'm just having a marvelous day. Reynolds chewed out my ass, he refused your request for the warrant to bug Horatio's office, and I'm not sure but I think he just fired you."

"So he found out I'm not investigating Horatio didn't he?"

"Oh, yeah. So please tell me you have a good case so I can save face." Peter was taking it rather well considering his own job might be on the line.

"Peter, I have an excellent case. IAB is dirty and I'm this close to having the proof." She made a gesture with her hand indicating a pinch even though Peter couldn't see it through the phone.

"Please tell me you mean a pinch and not a yard." There was no answer from Jade.

"Jade . . . do I need to get my resume ready? Jade?"

She smiled at his reply, "No, hold off on the resume for now. Hey, how is my request going for some help?"

Peter sighed, "Sorry. Reynolds won't go for it. You know that."

"Well, what do you want me to do – pay for help out of my pocket?"

Now it was Peter who was silent for a moment.

"You know you won't be reimbursed, right?" Peter approached the subject carefully.

"Peter, these people killed someone. If they think I'm a threat, they'll kill me. I'm tired. I'm depressed. I'm getting very little help from Reynolds and I'm sick of it. Tell Reynolds I'll resign after this case if he gives me some help to finish it."

Peter knew she was serious. "Jade, think about this. What would you do if you resigned? You're a good agent – a great agent. You don't want to throw this all away."

"Then Peter, get me some help. I need someone to monitor the tapes in case something goes wrong . . . I need someone to follow some people and gather evidence and I need to get a good nights sleep." Frustrated, Jade ended the call, "I have to go, I have tapes to review and I'd really like to get some sleep tonight. I'll talk to you later."

Her frustration was clearly visible as she hung up the phone. "Now you see what I'm up against." She quickly regained her composure as she noticed Horatio was finished eating. "Let me show you something."

She grabbed a set of keys from under the sink and took Horatio to a different apartment in the building. Inside, she had all sorts of computer and surveillance equipment set up. She motioned Horatio to join her at the makeshift conference table.

Opening a folder she pulled from a cabinet, Jade began, "Here is a crime scene photo of Speedle at his death. Note his gun. I blew the photo up and was able to see part of the serial number." She showed him the zoomed in photo of the gun. "That serial number starts with 4. Now here is a photo of the gun that Calleigh examined and did her analysis on. As you can clearly see, this gun's serial number starts with 2." She handed him the photo. "It's a different gun. The serial number on Calleigh's gun is the one that was issued to Speedle. I checked the other serial number and found one service revolver that matches." She pulled a computer printout from the folder and showed it to Horatio. "This serial number is the only one with the visible numbers I saw. Now look at the status of this gun – it's been destroyed because it consistently jams when fired."

"Someone switched his gun and then stood back waiting for him to have to use it. After it did it's job, they switched Speedle's real gun back after they had fired it a bunch of times to make it look dirty. What is interesting is that IAB investigated Speedle once before when his gun jammed. That might be where they got the idea from. And get this – it was Jack Seeger who did that investigation and he's one of my main suspects I'm investigating."

Horatio was stunned as he looked at her evidence. "Speed was murdered."

"Do you know who switched the gun?" Horatio soberly asked.

"I have a fairly good idea." She motioned him over to the large flat computer screen she had installed onto the wall and inserted a CD into the computer. They both took a seat as she played back the security tape. "Here is Rick Stetler talking to Calleigh. She hasn't made it to her office yet to examine the gun. He is telling her he wants all her results on Speedle's gun. And here . . . is Detective John Hagan with a duffle bag entering Calleigh's office and leaving just minutes later."

She placed her hand on Horatio's shoulder, "I know that John Hagan and your brother were investigated by IAB. If I had to guess, I'd say Stetler was buying time so Hagan could switch the gun."

"Why did they kill Speed. What was the motive." Horatio couldn't understand why they would go through so much trouble.

"I found notes in the archived files taken from Speed's computer. He was pissed that a case was thrown out by Judge Joseph Ratner because of a technicality. There was a problem with the evidence so he started digging into the evidence locker and who accessed it. He had some specific dates and times that he wanted to know who was in there so I went ahead and checked them." She pulled out a different printout from the folder. "Each time there was a master key card used. I also checked the security tapes to see who it was. Each time a box was conveniently placed on the top shelf blocking the view of the security camera."

Jade gave a big yawn. "This morning, a shelf collapsed in the evidence room and destroyed some evidence. You know about the tape, I mean DVD." She leaned in as she offered, "Don't worry, the FBI confiscated the original DVD and I replaced it with a copy. The disk is still secure."

This was a huge relief to Horatio as Jade continued, "But there was also some other evidence compromised from an Acetone poisoning case being heard before Judge Ratner. I haven't checked the tape yet to see what happened. Oh, and before you ask, I have a second camera in the evidence room now so the box shouldn't screw up our view."

Horatio could tell she was proud of herself as she showed him her recording studio. "Using wireless cameras and routers, I've got everything connected to the internet and a secure webpage. And here is where I record the data for evidence." She had a system that would record the video onto DVD's and when one was full, it would eject it and insert another one from a stack that fed into the machine. She had one recording machine labeled for each camera she used.

Jade took the DVD recorded from earlier that day and put it into the computer to play it back. Using fast forward, she was able to browse through to each time the evidence room was accessed by anyone. So far, everything was proper until one individual entered with an obviously empty box and placed it on the top shelf. Horatio was sitting on the edge of his seat as he was watching hoping that he was wrong.

The individual then placed a heavy box on the top shelf of the collapsing unit and was filmed doing something underneath the shelf and out of sight. He ran what must have been fishing line, because it was invisible to the camera, out of the room and then removed the empty box blocking the camera. With the room empty they watched for several minutes then saw something small fly from underneath the shelf and the shelf collapsed pan-caking the evidence and destroying it.

"Wow. I didn't see that one coming," Jade commented. "Now I just have to figure out why he's doing this." She took a pad of paper and began filling out a form documenting the time stamp and individual involved along with an explanation of the event.

Jade proceeded to explain where each camera was placed and how to view them on the screen. Horatio watched attentively as he realized Jade really was good at this. She had her t's crossed and her i's dotted. He also liked her use of GPS trackers to keep track of her marks. She was certainly smarter than she had presented herself.

Then she showed him her favorite camera of all - her spy glasses. They were a special pair of sunglasses that she always seemed to be wearing on top her head.

"The hidden camera is balanced so that if I put the sunglasses on top my head, the camera swivels down and levels out so it will still record straight ahead at what I'm looking at. If I put the glasses on my nose, it swivels up and re-levels itself. Plus these have audio and some of the others don't. Pretty cool huh?"

"Yeah. And I guess you have that tied to a recorder as well." Horatio looked at the screen as Jade switched over to that camera showing him. He had a smile on his face. "You just need someone to monitor all the cameras for activity."

He was interested and she was sure he'd be willing to help especially now that he knew one of his own had been murdered.

"Well, I'd love to tell you more, but I really have to get to work. I have a lot of tapes to go through tonight." She gave another yawn as she rubbed her tired eyes. "And I'm really tired so I don't want to stay up all night." She switched the monitor back to begin. "I left the door unlocked to the apartment so you can go turn in anytime. Oh, and I need you to give me permission to put a camera in your office so I can use anything I find as evidence. I have warrants for the labs but not the offices."

She had a method to her work. She started with Camera One of the Evidence Room, then Camera Two of Horatio's office, then Camera Three of the AV Lab, and finally Camera Four of the DNA lab. Camera Five was the webcam in the park which she had since narrowed down to a smaller area in the park.

"Camera One." She continued to fast forward through the tape while she rested her head on her hand.

After completing the permission form, Horatio rose, she thought to leave, but instead he walked behind her and pulled her back into her chair so her head rested on his abdomen, then he began massaging her neck and shoulders. She was in heaven.

* * *

**Author's Note: I want to thank everyone for your kind reviews. Please keep them coming. Thanks.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Jaded - Chapter 7  
By Celtic Lady**

Jade awoke early as Horatio still slept. She had slept on the couch like she promised and he had left the door to the bedroom open so she was able to peer inside and see the sleeping prince. He seemed to like sleeping on his stomach, shirtless, with a pillow clutched underneath him. Jade couldn't help but think substitute teddy bear as she smiled to herself.

Jade was careful not to wake him as she got ready for the day. She quietly opened the closet and pulled out a suit then collected the accessories she'd need. After getting dressed in the bathroom, she returned to scribble out a note, before she left. As she placed it on the bed next to Horatio's head she included an extra set of keys to her apartment. She couldn't resist placing a small teddy bear nearby knowing it would bring a smile to his face.

She had asked Horatio to stay there and watch the tapes for her - that way Jade knew he'd be safe and she could keep an eye on him. Although she never came out and said it, she was making him her unofficial AV surveillance tech while she played undercover agent. The idea made her laugh – the roles were usually reversed but here she was putting herself as Horatio's boss.

The morning went smooth enough. Horatio had called her when he finally awoke. She spoke to him the same way she spoke to Peter when he called her at work.

"Hey sweetheart, how's it going?"

"That's okay. I'm just working away. Cooper is here with me, we're looking at videos of course. If you don't get to my to-do list, no big deal."

"Oh, aren't you just the sweetest thing!"

"Okay. I can check on that from here too. Otherwise, I'll see you tonight when I get home. Love you."

"Bye."

Horatio was watching her on the AV Video Camera as they spoke and couldn't help but smile. His end of the conversation was somewhat different from hers.

"Hi. I got your note." _Hey sweetheart, how's it going?_

"I haven't started viewing the tapes yet." _That's okay. I'm just working away…_

"I hope you don't mind but I looked through your notes on this case. Rebecca Nevins may have been the one who doctored my meds. She was at my house with Stetler and she did use my bathroom. I went ahead and wrote it up for you." _Oh, aren't you just the sweetest thing!_

"I'm keeping an eye on the cameras but can't tell what everyone is saying so I'm not much help that way. But RN is on her way to the park and so is JR. I'm watching that one closely. _Okay. I can check on that from here too…love you_

Horatio chuckled sarcastically, "I love you too, dear." _Bye_

"So you have a boyfriend," Cooper noted. "What's his name?"

Jade was still smiling as she replied, "Oh, no one you'd know."

"Well, what does he do?"

"He's an exotic dancer who wears skin tight black leather, has body tattoos all over, and the coolest sideburns . . ." She cocked her head as she thought for a moment, "And I'm not sure what color his eyes are because he always wears sunglasses. Hmm."

"You're kidding, right?" Cooper wasn't sure if she was pulling his leg or serious.

Jade just smiled to herself as did Horatio who was also listening. Jade obviously had an active imagination.


	8. Chapter 8

**Jaded - Chapter 8  
By Celtic Lady**

Rebecca Nevins was the first to arrive at the park so she impatiently waited by the fountain for her contact to arrive. It was overcast and she feared it might start raining at any time. A short time later, Judge Ratner sat down and she joined him.

"I'm glad you could join me," Ratner started.

"I see your case went well," she continued.

He smiled contentedly as he nodded. "I hear you had Horatio Caine climbing the walls?"

"I did what I was told. He needed to be knocked down a notch anyways."

"Still upset with him are we?" Ratner chuckled. Everyone knew that she and Horatio had dated for a short while until she made a deal with a cop killer. That had ended their relationship rather suddenly.

He handed her a manila envelope which she opened and looked inside. "What's this?"

"We have a problem." His demeanor quickly turned serious.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Nevins snipped.

"I want you to do what you're told."

Nevins pulled out some papers and looked through them. She looked alarmed as she read them. "This could undermine everything."

"Which is why you are going to help." Ratner handed her a paper bag. "You're going to take care of the problem."

Nevins looked inside and was beside herself, as she starred at Ratner.

"You play with the big boys, you have to get your hands dirty. Seeger has blood on his hands, I have blood on mine, now it's your turn."

Ratner stood and walked away leaving a shaking Nevins behind. He knew she'd do the right thing. She was in too deep. She couldn't go back now.

--OO--

Jade was growing tired of this case and really wanted it to end. The company shrink at the FBI had suggested she take some time off and take care of her depression before taking another case but her boss wouldn't have it. It was hard to stay focused on the case as she sat at her desk. She tried to think through all the evidence she had collected but her mind kept going back to Horatio and what the serial killer had done to him. She really liked him and wanted to make a good impression but found it hard to stay focused on the job at hand. She shook herself back to the reality of her case.

Judge Ratner was apparently taking payoffs to make court cases disappear. He was partnering with Jack Seeger of IAB who had several people available to do dirty work in exchange for keeping their careers. Because this involved evidence in the crime lab, there had to be someone in the crime lab under Seeger's control and Jade had discovered his identity as well. She had begun accumulating a paper trail showing Ratner had taken money from several defendants and was able to determine that he was the mastermind. Unfortunately for Tim Speedle, he had suspected something and was killed to keep him quiet. Jade's weakest part was Jack Seeger at the moment, she wanted to tie him in stronger and see if Robert Bell was also involved. The person used to switch Speedle's gun was now dead so that avenue was closed. She was sure she could turn Rick Stetler when the time was needed but wasn't sure how involved he was. She considered Rick more of a pawn than a player. Seeger was using Stetler's hatred of Horatio Caine to get access to the lab and the evidence. Jade wondered if she could use that same hatred to get to Seeger.

As she watched the webcam of the park, she decided that Rebecca Nevins must be the latest player. Jade needed to focus on her and determine what she was up to.

Maybe Horatio would be able to suggest someone to follow her around for a cheap price. Jade put in the call.


	9. Chapter 9

**Jaded - Chapter 9  
By Celtic Lady**

Ryan Wolfe looked out the window of his car. It was pouring down raining so he knew there would be little for him to do at the firing range. He worked there on an 'as needed' basis which wasn't helping his bank account any. He was so relieved to get a call from Horatio for some stakeout work. All he had to do was follow Rebecca Nevins and photograph who she met with. If he lost her, Horatio had a tracker on her and could locate where she was. It seemed easy enough and he really needed the money.

Jade was getting ready to leave for lunch with Calleigh when Stetler invited them to join him for a bite. Calleigh was gracious enough to back out so Jade took the opportunity to get to know Rick a little better. As they sat at the restaurant, Stetler questioned her about the whereabouts of Horatio Caine.

"I've been calling his cell and even stopped by his house but no answer. Do you know where he might be staying?"

Jade looked dumbfounded, "I just dropped him off at his house and left after the hospital thing. I didn't even go inside."

Jade wasn't about to tell Stetler where Horatio was. She knew he needed to be invisible for awhile and get his head together which she was more than happy to make happen. Jade only wished she could do the same thing. She decided to bring up the evidence accident and see what Stetler's reaction would be.

"I heard the shelf in the evidence locker collapsed because of no support clips. You know, they were there last week when I put Horatio's DVD on the shelf. I know because I hit my head on the dang shelf and remember seeing them."

"You looked at the DVD? Why?"

Jade suddenly realized she didn't have a good answer and knew it. Darn. "Well, someone needed to look at it and make sure it wasn't compromised or erased during the arrest." She knew that reason sounded really lame. "I am AV after all."

She quickly changed the subject back to the clips, "But anyways, Eric Delko had me look at the security tapes of the evidence locker when the shelf collapsed. I think there is something fishy about it."

Just then their food arrived.

She took a bite of her Sea Bass. "Mmm. This is good." She chewed her food while Stetler asked her what she meant.

Jade explained, "I could see something small fly out from the shelves. So it should have been on the ground when they sorted through everything. I figure it's the support clips, but they're not there. So how did two clips leave the room? I mean Eric and Natalia didn't take them and I know they didn't walk out on their own."

She let Stetler digest that bit of information for awhile as she took another bite.

"You know, there is apparently a way to hide the security camera as well. Someone put a box on the top shelf below the camera, just minutes before the shelf collapsed, and blocked the view. Then when they left, they took the box back down. Two. . . maybe three minutes later, the shelf falls."

"So in your case, do you investigate this as IAB or as the head of the crime lab?" Jade wondered out loud.

"Too bad it happened on your watch." She knew that extra comment would be a jab in Rick's side which is why she just had to add it.

As she continued eating, Jade noticed that Stetler seemed to have lost his appetite. The accident was obviously done on purpose but she couldn't tell if it was without his knowledge or if he was sick because someone had figured it out.

After they returned to the office, Stetler immediately put in a call to Robert Bell and told him of the news. He didn't like it at all when Bell told him to let IAB investigate it. He was being taken out of the loop for the sake of the department. This was his big chance to show what he could do and he was being taken out of the loop – Rick was furious.

After ending the call with Bell, Stetler put in a call to Delko. He wanted to know everything they found on the incident and if there was a way to retrieve any lost evidence. He also insisted that Eric pursue the matter diligently and give him some answers.

After work, Jade decided to follow up on the person who had damaged the evidence to begin with. She tracked Dan Cooper to a Casino cruise ship where he boarded and she followed. It didn't take long for her to realize that he had a definite gambling problem as she watched him lose time and time again.

It was time to confront him. Jade walked up next to Cooper and showed him her FBI badge. "I need to talk to you Dan."

He was shocked. "Um, can it wait? I um . . ."

"No. I need to talk to you now." The determination in her voice was quite noticeable.

Dan excused himself from the table and followed her to a secluded area where Jade immediately confronted him.

"I have you on tape destroying evidence and now I see why you're doing it. All I want to know is who in IAB are you working for?"

Dan's mouth fell open as he listened to her accusation. "I can't tell you. I'll loose my job."

"Too late Cooper, your job is the least of your problems right now. You destroyed evidence in a murder case. You either help me or I'm throwing you to the wolves." Jade tapped her finger on Cooper's chest to make her point. "What do you think IAB will do when I tell them?"

"I had no choice. They were going to do to me what they did to Wolfe. You know what they did to him don't you?" Dan was clearly irritated. "He's practically living out of his car now. He can't even make his payments on his condo."

Dan knew he was between a rock and a hard place. If he gave Jade the name, then maybe he could work a deal with her. "If I tell you who, what's in it for me?"

"Not a damn thing. You either tell me the name or I out you to IAB and they blame you for everything." Jade gave Dan a sinister smile to make her point.

"Okay . . . okay. Jack Seeger. Just don't tell him you heard it from me."

She shook her head – this was good. Now she had a way to get to Seeger.

She removed her sunglasses from the top of her head and put them in her suit pocket as she coolly continued, "Now, I'm going to tell you how to help yourself out of this jam."

Dan agreed that the next time he was contacted by Seeger, he would let Jade put a wire on him. With his help, she could make a case against Seeger and take himself out of the hot seat.

* * *

**Author's Note: What do you-all think about Dan Cooper being the culprit who is damaging evidence? Did anyone think it was him?**


	10. Chapter 10

**Jaded - Chapter 10  
By Celtic Lady**

Horatio had some steaks cooking when Jade arrived home.

"Wow, that smells good."

Jade walked into her bedroom and hung up her jacket in the closet. Horatio followed shortly thereafter to ask her something only to walk in while she was changing clothes. He silently back out of the room and waited.

When she returned to the kitchen, she was in jeans and a t-shirt.

"I was watching you interrogate Dan Cooper when I lost the connection." He turned the steaks over as he continued, "I have a feeling you already knew that."

Jade smiled. "Yes, I knew that. I have them set so that when I close the glasses, it turns the camera off – saves batteries that way." She added some spices to the steaks as she took over the cooking. "Cooper is going to wear a wire the next time Seeger contacts him."

After they finished their dinner, Jade began cleaning up and doing the dishes when the doorbell rang. She suspiciously looked over at Horatio who looked through the peep-hole before opening the door.

"Ryan, what have you got for me?" He gestured for Ryan to come inside and sit down.

"Thanks." Ryan pulled several photographs from an envelope and laid them on the coffee table for Horatio to see as Jade wiped her hands dry and joined them.

"Hi, I'm Ryan Wolfe." He rose to shake Jade's hand.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Jade Reno. Horatio has told me a lot about you." Jade smiled as she shook his hand. Ryan glanced over to Horatio who was flipping through the photographs. He couldn't help but wonder what Horatio might have said about him and his situation.

Jade looked over Horatio's shoulder as he held each photo up for her to see.

Ryan wasn't sure what they were looking for but had also taken notes. "She went to a couple of different sporting good stores. I didn't go inside, but I wrote down the name and address of each store."

"Great. That will come in handy. Good work." Jade pointed to a man in a couple of the photos, "This guy looks interesting. Not her type and she's handing him something." The next photograph showed that it was the brown paper bag she received from Judge Ratner. "I definitely want to know who this guy is."

Ryan couldn't stay quiet any longer, "So what kind of investigation are you running?"

Jade explained a few details without laying out the entire case. She gave Ryan just enough to know what she was looking for in photographs. Who Nevins met with and did she hand off anything – especially if it looked like a payoff. That was all Ryan needed to understand the case.

As Horatio walked him to the door, Ryan nervously whispered, "Is there any way I can get paid an advance? I'm kind of hurting for money right now."

Jade overheard and immediately fetched her purse and gave him two hundred dollars in cash. "I don't know what wage you and Horatio agreed on, but this should get you started. Put together an invoice of your salary and expenses and I'll gladly pay as we go, if that helps."

Ryan nodded, "Yeah, that would help a lot. Thanks." He turned and said goodbye to Horatio, "I'll be in touch."

"Ryan. If anyone asks, you don't know that I'm here okay."

Something about Horatio's expression seemed odd when he made that request. Ryan couldn't put his finger on it but he had no problem honoring Horatio's request.

"Sure, no problem."

Later that night, Jade awoke to hear muffled sobs coming from the bedroom. She didn't even bother to put on a robe as she quickly walked to Horatio's bedside.

"Hey, it's okay." She placed her hand on his shoulder as she sat down next to him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," whispered Horatio as he wiped the tears away.

"Talk to me. What's going on?" Jade was becoming more accustomed to talking with Horatio about what had happened and was trying to get up the courage to open up to him about her own life and traumas. After all, she needed hugs too but no one seemed to know that.

"Nothing, I'm okay." Horatio adjusted his position in bed and turned his head away from her.

"Holding it in never really helped me. Things usually just got worst," Jade explained calmly. "Besides, you're going to have to talk to someone . . . like a shrink eventually."

She whispered, "Just don't have an emotional meltdown like I did."

Horatio tried to speak, "It's hard."

Jade raised her hand to his face and wiped away his tears. Then she whispered, "I know."

"Talking to you does help, but I just don't like exposing my soul like this." Horatio's tears had diminished by now as he calmly continued, "I don't really know you that well and this is some pretty private stuff. I think I'd prefer to keep it to myself."

Jade realized he was right. They really didn't know each other that well. She just felt drawn to him emotionally because she knew what he had been through and felt a connection. It dawned on her that he had every right to keep his privacy and was a little embarrassed by her intrusion. She, after all, would have done the same thing.

"I didn't mean to pry into your personal life. Sorry." She couldn't help but feel rejected somehow and it hurt. She tried hard to keep control of her emotions – she didn't want him to know how close she had really felt to him – A closeness that he obviously didn't share. Jade decided she had better leave Horatio alone and stop trying to 'save' him. Thank God the room was still dark so he couldn't see the pain she was going through. "I'll let you try and get some sleep."

Jade left and tried to sleep but she was too wound up emotionally. Thoughts raced through her head of friends and relatives she had lost and the pain she had endured. After awhile, she remembered that there was a small bed in the other apartment as well. She had packed all her private belongings into the two small bedrooms along with an extra bed in case she wanted to nap while watching the surveillance equipment.

The next morning, Horatio awoke to the phone ringing. It was not unusual for Jade to call and check on him, but he knew to let the machine get it first. He darted out of the bedroom and waited by the phone.

"Jade, are you there? We're wondering if you overslept. Jade?"

Horatio recognized that it was Rick Stetler and glanced over to the couch. The sheets were still there and Jade always picked up after herself. Then he saw her suit draped over the chair. Obviously, Jade had not made it to work. He got dressed and walked over to the other apartment to check for her there. He found the door unlocked and went inside. The room was dark except for a small light in one of the back rooms which he went to investigate. These rooms were always locked and he had wondered what was in them. Jade was sound asleep on the bed as he took a quick glance around the room. It was stacked full of boxes, each labeled, along with other items of a personal nature. An old framed family photo was on the bed next to Jade as was a old photo album. Horatio picked up the photo and looked at it. It must be Jade's family, he thought, as he looked at the two young girls. Jade looked to be the oldest. He laid the photo back on the bed.

Horatio decided it was time to wake her up and tapped her shoulder. Alarmed, she quickly sat up.

"You overslept. Stetler called for you," he explained nervously.

"Oh, God. Thanks for waking me." Jade jumped off the bed and hurried Horatio out of the room so she could lock it. She had to rush to her apartment and change clothes – no time for breakfast and she should probably call Stetler and let him know she overslept.


	11. Chapter 11

**Jaded - Chapter 11  
By Celtic Lady**

When Jade arrived at work, she feigned illness and medication as the reason for her late arrival and lack of enthusiasm throughout the day. She was shocked when her boss, Frank Reynolds, called her – could the day get any worst?

"Jade, I'm going to have to shut this assignment down if you don't start getting some results. You're gonna have to do some pushing and make things happen."

She was so tired of his bullshit and although she knew she should just keep her mouth shut and agree with him, she just somehow couldn't do it. Her stubbornness would again rear it's ugly head. "Frank, I can't do this job anymore without some more help." The thing with the serial killer had messed her up more than she realized and she knew she was depressed.

She talked vigorously, "I've got Horatio Caine working for me while he's on sick leave and last night I put together a copy of the evidence and emailed you a summary. I guess that's why you're calling?"

"Yeah. That's why I'm calling. I looked over your report and I think you need to gather more before we make a move. Like I said, you need to make this happen."

"You keep saying that Frank. But here's the thing – I can't watch everyone at once and it's not right that I have to do this entire case by myself. I'm not going to do this anymore. I've been telling you for months now that I'm having trouble and you're just not listening to me. So I quit. I'm done."

Frank's temper began to show itself, "That's not acceptable. You listen to me you little tart. I own you! I might have given you a break if you hadn't given up on the serial killer case but you quit on that one too. Now you get off your spoiled little ass and you finish this. I don't give a rats-ass about your little PMS mood swings. Get over it!"

Jade wasn't about to let it go without a fight. She might have been severely depressed, but she still had a bit of backbone when it came to Frank Reynolds.

"Frank, are you really that stupid? You know I didn't quit. Hell, you drove me out with all your stupid demands. So guess what, I'm not doing it anymore! Find yourself another chump coz I'm done with you!"

Jade ended the call and turned off her cell phone so he couldn't call her back. She was so irate, her hands were shaking as she typed up a letter of resignation on her computer and printed off several copies. After securing them in addressed envelopes, she started to get up when the desk phone rang. It was Horatio.

"I heard your phone conversation. You're not really quitting are you?"

Jade tried desperately to keep her composure, "Not you too. Let it go Horatio, I don't feel like arguing with you right now."

"Jade, why don't you take the rest of the day off and we'll talk. I'm sure I can work something out with my people there to help out." Horatio was trying his best to reason with her in the hopes of keeping the case alive.

"Yeah, okay. I'll take a sick day and come home in a little while." She really didn't have any plans to rush home but it got him off the phone and out of her hair. She went to Stetler and explained that her illness was getting worst and that she needed to go home which he agreed to. But rather than drive straight home, Jade stopped at a bar, walking distance from her apartment, and ordered a drink. It had been some time since she'd ever been drunk and it seemed like an appropriate thing to do.

Horatio had seen where she went, through her spyglasses, and decided to let her have a few drinks before he went to get her. He focused his attention back on her case files and the evidence she had collected to date. It looked like he'd be running this case after all and he wanted to get familiar with everything.

After only a few drinks, Jade had changed her mind again and decided to walk home. She wasn't drunk but didn't want to take a chance on driving it. As she walked along, someone came up behind her and struck her on the head knocking her down. After that, it didn't take much to overpower her and throw her in the trunk of a nearby car. He seemed aware that her wristwatch was a tracker and immediately threw it away. She wasn't sure how long she had been riding in the trunk when she regained consciousness. Jade looked around the dark compartment and decided that if nothing else, she'd leave as much evidence of herself as she could. She used the blood from her head wound and smeared it in different spots of the trunk where someone might not see to clean up. She also left some strands of her hair in various places as well.

Realizing she still had her sunglasses on, she took them off and pointed the camera towards her face.

"Horatio, I'm in a trunk right now. I don't know where I am or how long we've been driving. But I guess I'll find out eventually. You might want to alert everyone that I've been kidnapped." She couldn't think of anything else to say so she put the sunglasses back on her head and waited.

After awhile, the car stopped and she waited for the trunk lid to open so she could try to fight her way out of this mess.

Meanwhile, Horatio had phoned in her kidnapping to both Peter Elliott and the Miami-Dade Police. He sat in front of the monitor helplessly watching everything play out before him.

When the trunk popped open, Jade was ready but so was her kidnapper. He stood at a distance with a gun aimed at her and demanded she climb out of the car.

"C'mon, I don't have all day." He motioned her over to a nearby sugar cane field. They didn't walk far down the dirt road when she saw a hole dug by the tree line – her grave no doubt.

"So what are the chances you'll tell me who hired you to kill me?" Jade had her arms held up shoulder height as she turned around to face the killer.

"In the hole."

Jade slowly complied and stepped into the pit the killer had dug.

"It was Rebecca Nevins wasn't it?" She waited to gage his reaction but saw nothing.

He aimed the gun at her and she knew her time on Earth was only seconds away from ending. All she could do was try to run for it and hoped he was a bad shot.

She felt the bullet graze the side of her head as she fell in what seemed to be slow motion. She wasn't sure she even heard the gunshot as everything went black.

The killer dragged her body the rest of the way into the pit and covered her with a couple of large trash bags before he started going through her pockets. He gathered her wallet, un-mailed letters, and finally her FBI badge. He didn't expect to see this – he just killed an FBI agent. He placed all the items into the paper bag, along with the gun he had just used, and began shoveling dirt over her limp body. It wasn't long before he was sweating from the work. Satisfied she was sufficiently covered, he noticed her sunglasses had flown off of her head and landed nearby. He was unaware that they just filmed the burial of Jade Austin as he grabbed them up as well and placed them with the rest of her items. He was pleased with the cleanup as he removed his gloves and threw them and the shovel in the trunk of the car and drove away.

Horatio was stunned by what he had just witnessed. Jade was dead. He had Peter Elliott on the phone as he informed him of the bad news.

"I have to go Peter. We need to find her body." Horatio really couldn't say much more as he ended the call and raced out of the apartment. He called Rick Stetler and informed him of Jade being shot near an unknown sugar cane field and buried.

"Rick, you either put everything you've got on this or I will make your life very difficult," Horatio demanded. "That's a promise."

He grabbed his keys and jumped in his car. Rick had no experience with this type of situation and Horatio wasn't about to let this case be compromised because of Stetler's ignorance. As he raced down the road with his lights flashing, he dialed Ryan Wolfe.

"Ryan, are you still watching Rebecca Nevins? When our unidentified man appears, call me. We need to take him down."

Ryan could hear the desperation in Horatio's voice. "What's up?"

"He just shot Jade Reno – she's an undercover FBI agent."

Ryan was shocked to hear of the shooting. "I'll let you know as soon as I spot him."


	12. Chapter 12

**Jaded - Chapter 12  
By Celtic Lady**

Horatio arrived at the office in record time as he hurried to the AV lab. "Dan, I need you to pull up a web page." He handed him a note with a web address and password on it.

Rick Stetler saw Horatio's entrance and joined him and Frank Tripp to see what he was doing. Rick was surprised to see a web page showing a map of Miami and GPS markers with initials.

"Dan, keep your eyes on RN in case we lose sight of her. Frank, you're with me. No lights, no sirens. We don't want to scare the killer away."

Rick had to hurry to keep up with them, "I'm coming with you." Horatio didn't have time to complain.

With everyone in place, the killer arrived right on cue. It didn't take much to get him and Nevins in custody.

Back at the lab, Frank and Horatio both focused on the killer as Calleigh swabbed his hands and shirt for gunpowder residue and Eric took his fingerprints. Horatio kept the brown paper bag in his sight at all times until Calleigh was ready to process it. He wasn't going to let another killer go free.

"I'm going to need your clothing," Calleigh indicated coldly. "You can put these on." She laid a orange prison jumpsuit down for him to change into and waited with brown paper bags to collect each piece as he removed it. Once he was finished, she rushed the items to Natalia Boa Vista for analysis while she focused on the gun.

Horatio slapped a plastic evidence bag down on the table in front of the killer. "Where is her body?" The bag clearly contained an FBI badge and ID card with the photo of Jade Austin visible. "Where did you bury her?"

Rick's eyes widened when he saw the FBI badge. He realized he had no idea what was going on but apparently Horatio did. Rick had no choice but to let Horatio run with the investigation as he stood by and watched powerlessly.

"She was wearing a camera – we have you on tape!" Frank noticed that Horatio was talking a bit louder than he usually did. It was mainly his job to be the heavy in an interrogation while Horatio kept calm and collected. It looked like their roles were switched this time.

The killer just sat there and said nothing. He knew what the scam was all about and felt they would get him out of this mess.


	13. Chapter 13

**Jaded - Chapter 13  
By Celtic Lady**

Jade felt something heavy on her as she tried to sit up. She realized it was dirt and that she was buried in a shallow grave as she panicked and fought to find her way out. She was coughing and could taste dirt in her mouth as her hand broke through to the surface. Jade was able to crawl part way out of the hole before she had to stop. Her face was covered with dirt and blood as she tried to catch her breath and look around. The side of her face was throbbing terribly as she laid there exhausted.

Jade had taken a single bullet to the head but apparently, it had only seriously grazed her and knocked her unconscious. But there was no time to celebrate just yet – she needed to get out of there. After freeing herself from the hole, she tried to stand up only to fall down again and again. She was sweating profusely and removed her jacket to cool down. As she tried to look around, she noticed that her vision was blurred and she had difficulty getting her bearings. She figured the gunshot wound was most likely the cause.

--OO--

Eric knocked on the window and motioned for Horatio to come out into the hallway. "We got a hit on his fingerprints. He's Derrick Carlton." Eric showed the rap sheet to Horatio. "Looks like he's killed before."

Horatio looked over the rap sheet noting the previous murder conviction in the courtroom with Rebecca Nevins. "Let's let him stew for awhile. Maybe we'll have better luck with Rebecca Nevins," although Horatio didn't really think so.

Eric had already dusted for prints, on the gun they retrieved from their suspect, and Calleigh was now ready to fire it. "Fire in the hole."

After three shots, she used a magnetized rod and collected the three bullets for striation comparison. Although she didn't have a specific bullet to compare it against, she could still check the IBIS (Integrated Ballistic Identification System) database for other crimes committed with this gun. It didn't take long for her to get a hit. She printed the information and then secured the gun in a safe place.

"Horatio, I tested the handgun and it has been used in another crime." She handed him the results.

"Good work. Let's go over the evidence from that crime and compare it to this one. I want to know what happened to that victim." He handed the report back to Calleigh and started walking to the other interrogation room.

Natalia began swabbing the trousers the killer had wore when he committed the crime. She placed the tip of the swab in a vial and inserted it in the machine for processing. While she waited for the results, she began using tape to remove grass samples she found around the ankle area of the pants. This would also be tested.

Horatio entered the second interrogation room where Rebecca Nevins was seated. Although he was dressed only in a t-shirt and jeans, his mannerisms were still indicative of the Horatio Caine everyone knew.

"Miss Nevins, you are in quite a jam right now." He glanced up from his sideways stance to look at her. "You might want to consider helping yourself any way you can."

She wasn't use to being in this position and sat quietly. "I'm listening."

"Do you know where Jade Austin's body is buried?" Horatio's stare was different from any she had seen before when they had dated. His gaze cut right through her and sent shivers up her spine as she looked away.

"No, why would I?"

Horatio took a deep breath as he glanced down to the floor. "Interesting that you know her by Austin instead of her undercover name of Reno." He looked up to gage her reaction but there was none.

"You just hired a professional to kill her and we have it all on tape including the gun you gave him." He displayed his cocky smile as she watched. "Killing a FBI agent was not one of your best decisions not unlike some of your other ones."

Rebecca thought back to the plea agreement she had made with another cop killer which had ultimately ended her relationship with Horatio. She knew that he remembered as well.

"I want a lawyer."

"I bet you do." Horatio left her alone.


	14. Chapter 14

**Jaded - Chapter 14  
By Celtic Lady**

Rick Stetler was amazed at how fast Horatio was going from room to room and taking in each piece of evidence as the team presented it. Normally, he would not be this close to an investigation but as the temporary head of the department, he needed to be kept up to speed on the case. This was definitely a learning experience for him as he watched from the sidelines.

Suddenly, Natalia came running down the hallway. "Horatio. The suspects clothing has an organophosphate insecticide on it and sugar cane debris. I checked and it's Azinphos-methyl which is a very highly toxic pesticide. If you inhale it or get it on your skin, it can be life threatening. Because of that, it's only used on a couple of sugar cane fields in the area." She showed him the locations on a map.

"Great! Let's get people to both these locations. We're looking for a grave near a tree line."

--OO--

Jade had managed to crawl a short distance down the dirt road of the field but was having a difficult time. Her wheezing was very pronounced as she doubled up in pain and vomited.

She was beginning to believe she wouldn't make it when she heard sirens in the distance. There was no way they would see her and her breathing was too weak to yell. All she could do was wait and hope.

Horatio was stunned to see Jade's body in the middle of the dirt road as he slammed his brakes and stopped. He ran over to her body and she looked up at him but was unable to speak.

"She's alive! We need an ambulance!" The fear was apparent in Horatio's face as he spoke to her, "Hold on Jade . . . hold on! Help is on the way."

To his dismay, she began to convulse and he worried that they didn't make it in time. Had he known she was still alive, he might have done something differently, but he couldn't second guess himself at the moment.

Paramedics quickly arrived and called for an air evacuation while they prepped her for flight. They immediately put her on oxygen and placed her on a backboard.

"She has azinphos-methyl poisoning. That's how we found her. Azinphos-methyl poisoning!" Horatio screamed over the sound of the helicopter. The paramedic nodded that he understood and they loaded her for takeoff and left.

As the scene grew quiet, Horatio ordered that only essential personnel was to be on the scene and only with protective clothing and respirators. He then got in his car and left for the hospital.

By the time Horatio arrived, the emergency room had already scrubbed Jade's body to remove any remaining pesticide from her skin and they shaved her head around her gunshot wound. Surgery was out of the question until they stabilized her.

The attending doctor came over to discuss her condition with Horatio. "Lieutenant, she's in pretty bad shape. She's got a high level of poison in her system and if she has any family, I'd get them in here fast. She may not make it through the night."

"I'll check for relatives," he remembered the family photo Jade had in the spare bedroom. Horatio solemnly asked, "Can I see her?"

"For a few minutes. We're moving her up to ICU."

The doctor lead him to the small room where Jade was laying unconscious. She had an IV in her arm and a machine was breathing for her as another beeped to the beat of her pulse. Horatio noticed how frail she looked on the gurney as he walked over and held her hand in his. She was covered in sweat and gave no reaction to his touch. Then several interns came in and wheeled her away to Intensive Care.


	15. Chapter 15

**Jaded - Chapter 15  
By Celtic Lady**

Horatio dialed Peter Elliott. "She's alive but just barely. She may not make it through the night." He felt exhausted as he asked, "Does she have any family?"

No family. Horatio knew how that felt. He ended the call and decided to go home for a little while since the doctors wouldn't let him stay with her yet. He felt overwhelmed and needed to settle down and think.

Horatio had every intention of going to his own home but somehow felt himself drawn to Jade's apartment instead. The events seemed surreal almost as he leaned back in the chair to relax. How did everything go so wrong? Jade had a good case with solid evidence and Horatio wondered what Frank Reynolds would do with it. Her boss didn't seem to back her up much so Horatio decided he'd better go duplicate the tapes for Miami-Dade's use and secure it so it wouldn't all be lost to the FBI. He walked over to the surveillance apartment and let himself in.

The tapes were overwhelming in sheer volume so Horatio decided to just focus on this one event. Judge Ratner handing a paper bag to Rebecca Nevins who then hired a professional killer. It seemed very direct and clean. He'd also gather the information on Speedle's death since they now had proof he was murdered. It took him several hours to compile everything together to a point where he was satisfied.

During this time, Horatio kept feeling himself drawn to the locked room where Jade had her personal belongings. She hadn't divulged much about her past even when he had opened up to her. Now that she was dying, Horatio felt compelled to find out what kind of person she was and what she was really like. He grabbed a hammer and struck the padlock until it gave way then slowly entered the room and turned on the light. The photo album was still on the bed as Horatio sat down and began thumbing through the pages. She had many vacation photos and Horatio noticed the same friends seemed to be in most of the photos. Jade apparently liked to travel and had stepped on the soil of many countries during her lifetime. Each photo showed her with a broad grin so Horatio knew these were happy times for her.

Horatio kicked off his shoes and crossed his legs on the bed while he continued looking through another album and then another. As he finished each album, he would put it back where he found it until he came across her journal. Although he was hesitant to look, his curiosity got the best of him.

He began reading Jade's own words and realized she was aware of her ongoing depression and that she needed to distance herself from the serial killer but she refused to abandon Horatio in his time of need no matter how bad she got. She felt responsible and had a terrible fear that Horatio might also become depressed and take his own life. She also blamed Reynolds for somehow steering the killer to where she was working on a case. Apparently, she believed it was Reynolds who put the article in the paper on her transfer to Miami. He might as well have put it on the evening news.

If this was true, Horatio knew her boss had sabotaged her leaving the case and had found a way to pull her back in. Horatio had unknowingly helped Reynolds by requesting her assistance as well.

As he continued to read, it became clear that Jade had planned to start over and leave the FBI for good. Her concern over her emotional stability had pushed her to make this decision and she believed her friendship with Horatio was going to be helpful in her recovery and was the driving force in her making this difficult choice.

After awhile, Horatio decided it was time to return the favor. The hospital had called to tell him she was stabilized and that she was going into surgery for her head wound. He drove back to the hospital and stayed by Jade's side holding her hand in his. She had never left his bedside and he would not leave hers. Nurses checked on Jade constantly which Horatio knew was an indication of how grave the situation was.

As hours passed, Jade went into convulsions several times – each time the nurses administered Diazepam into her IV which calmed the tremors. It was almost morning when Jade went into cardiac arrest. Suddenly the heart monitor gave a steady beep as Horatio was hit by the reality that Jade's heart had just stopped. Doctors and nurses rushed in and prepared the defibrillator for use. Horatio was pushed out of the room by a nurse and watched from the doorway as the doctors worked frantically to re-start her heart.

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**Author's note: I couldn't decide on an ending so I created two separate alternate endings. Please let me know which one you like the best – I REALLY want to know. They will be posted tomorrow.**

**Warning: Alternate Ending 1 includes the death of Jade Austin. **


	16. Alternate Ending 1

**CSI: Miami - Jaded  
By Celtic Lady**

**Alternate Ending #1****:**

The doctor's tried the defibrillator over and over again without success. Things looked grave for Jade as Horatio watched helplessly. Finally the Doctor called her time of death – 4:39 a.m. Jade was gone. Horatio stood there dumbfounded. He had believed, from reading her journal, that she felt a connection to him and that there was definitely a possibility of romance if he was interested. But that wasn't going to happen now – Jade was dead.

--OO--

As Calleigh was getting ready for work, her phone rang. It was a police officer.

"Do you know a Horatio Caine?"

Her heart skipped a beat as she wondered why a policeman was calling her about Horatio. "Yes, I do. Why do you ask?"

"Well, he's sitting in his car plastered and asked that I call you to come and get him."

"What!" Calleigh was stunned. "Yes, of course I'll come. Give me your location and I'll be right there."

After writing down the information, she rushed out the door. It didn't take her long to arrive.

"Thank you so much for calling me. I can take him from here." Upon seeing her badge on her belt, the officer didn't argue and left.

"Horatio, what happened?"

His speech was slurred and Calleigh saw that he'd been crying. "She died . . . Jade died."

"Oh, my God . . . I didn't know." Calleigh was stunned by the news.

"C'mon, sit with me." Horatio moved a book from the passenger seat so she could sit down in the car. "She was in love with me but I didn't know it." He took another drink from the bottle of liquor and continued to explain. "I let her down. She wanted to end the investigation before she had proof on Jack Seeger and I told her not to." His tears began to run down his face again. "I told her to wait and get more evidence but I didn't know what she was going through."

Calleigh didn't fully understand as she tried to console him. "If you didn't know, how can you blame yourself?"

Through his crying he tried to explain. "She was trying to talk to me but I didn't know . . . I didn't listen." He handed Jade's journal to Calleigh, opened to the page he wanted her to read.

Calleigh read what Jade had written. She spoke of her depression and burnout with the FBI along with her many regrets. She felt she had lost her way somehow and saw Horatio as her knight in shining armor. He was her emotional equal, after what he'd been through, and she finally felt she could share her pain with someone who would truly understand what it felt like to be raped since she, herself, had gone through a similar ordeal with an ex-boyfriend. But before she could spill her soul to him, he closed up to her and no longer wanted to talk. She had missed her chance and was convinced there would be no other opportunities. Jade had gone to the bar, the day of her abduction, to get drunk so she'd have the courage to commit suicide. She had already planned it all out to the last detail.

Calleigh couldn't believe what she was reading and didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry Jade died but it wasn't your fault Horatio. Don't punish yourself for her death – you didn't shoot her or bury her in the ground." Calleigh put her hand on his shoulder as she looked into his eyes.

"I could have saved her. If she had hope, she could have survived the poison but she didn't and she gave up." He looked down at his lap. "I could have saved her."

Calleigh sat with him in silence for awhile before driving him home. With Jade gone, there was no one to look after Horatio and she feared the worst as she helped him into bed and sat nearby holding his hand. It looked to her like Horatio was giving up as well.

THE END.

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**Don't forget to let me know which alternate ending you like the best. Is it #1 or #2? Thanks.**


	17. Alternate Ending 2

**CSI: Miami - Jaded  
By Celtic Lady**

**Alternate Ending #2****:**

The doctor's tried the defibrillator over and over again without success. Things looked grave for Jade as Horatio watched helplessly from the doorway. Finally, the heart monitor began beeping again – they had her back. Horatio let out a sigh of relief as the nurses picked up the discards from the medications and gels used to re-start her heart and left with them.

Horatio ran up to her side and gripped her hand in his as he lost his composure for a brief moment and cried, "Jade, don't ever do that again! I mean it!"

He regained his self-control and began rubbing her forearm. He was convinced that if Jade knew he was there, she'd pull through. He was her savior after all, he had to save her and spent the rest of the morning talking to her while maintaining a physical connection in one way or another.

--OO--

Days later, Jade was awake and breathing on her own. She had undergone surgery for her head wound and had half her head wrapped up in bandages when Peter Elliott walked into the room.

"I see you're looking a lot better," he said cheerfully.

Jade smiled, "Yeah, but I feel like a terrorist with this turban on my head."

Peter smiled at her joke, "So how are you doing?"

"Well, I seem to have some short-term memory loss. I can't remember being shot." She reached for a cup of water and took a sip before continuing, "Horatio has been here everyday sitting with me. He filled me in on the case."

Peter took a seat in the empty chair. "So are you still quitting?"

Jade seemed startled by his question, "I . . . I'm not sure. I'm thinking I'll wait till I get better then decide."

"You can just take some medical leave, you don't have to quit you know." Peter was hoping he could change her mind.

Jade shook her head no. "I'm still pissed off at Frank Reynolds. There's no way I'll ever work for that bastard again."

"Well then I have good news for you." Peter perked up, "Frank's been canned. Apparently the higher ups got an anonymous tip that he was abusing his power and not following protocols."

Jade really didn't want to talk about it and was grateful when Horatio returned with their burgers.

"Here you go!" He sat the bag on the table along with their sodas. Horatio noticed that Elliott was sitting in his chair. "So Peter, were you just leaving?" he asked coolly while never looking up.

"Ah yeah, I guess so. Jade, think over what I said okay." Peter left them alone to enjoy their food.

"What did he want?" Horatio inquired as he pulled the food out of the bag.

Jade grabbed a fry and munched down before answering him with a question. "So am I quitting the FBI?"

He smiled. "You talked about it. I think you had your mind made up."

Jade smiled back. "I had no idea what he was talking about so I just played it cool. What else have I forgotten?"

"Oh, I don't know." He thought for a moment. "You promised to remodel my bathroom." A cocky smile came over his face.

"Did I?" Jade suspected something from his smile, "Or is that just wishful thinking on your part?"

Horatio feigned shock, "Do you question my honesty?"

Jade laughed out loud. "Ah . . . yeah."

"Hmmm."

THE END.

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**Don't forget to let me know which alternate ending you like the best. Is it #1 or #2? Thanks.**


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